My self. As much I try I can't get over this. I don't know if I'm depressed or just feeling bad for everything I'm trying not to think about. I feel bad that I rob my family of my wedding even tho I had a great wedding between my husband and I. I don't really talk to my sister anymore that eats at me all the time, and I have a bad relationship with everyone in my family so I just feel like crap all the time. I wish my husband could help make it better but it's not happening. It's all me. I take everything to heart. He yells at me because I'm not the best driver and that scary. He gets mad at me because of how long I'm out when I go out. but it's like I need to get out of this house and when I get out sometimes just sit in the car and breath because I'm away from it all. The house, him and dealing with this puppy that doesn't like me. I'm trying so hard to stay strong but I feel myself falling apart and I don't want it to pull my marriage apart.
I've been so strong for so long, now I'm falling apart at the seams and I can't sew myself back up. I don't know if I need help or a frying pan to the head. The frying pan sounds like the quick fix and I'm ready for it.
I was really hoping the diet would help bring up. and be a good thing for me. But I only worked for so long, and I'm back to feeling like shit.
I think I'm a hopeful until I can get the hell out of here. or a job. or that frying pan to the head.
